Trust and Other Things

What's hard about putting your draft three manuscript out in the hands of strangers for critique and review?

Ask a mother how hard it was to leave their child with a childcare provider or drop them off for the first day of school, cut that feeling in half, and you have about hard it is for a new author to drop his baby off in the hands of a stranger.

Why a stranger? Because friends and family have built-in filters to reviewing and critiquing your work. They might give you grammar and spelling corrections, but much else is subject to familiarity filtration. They know it's your dream to write well and be published. They know you've spent (up to) years working on your baby. They want you to have a chance at your dreams but they also don't want to have to step on them, either.

For me, just knowing this makes their feedback hard to believe if it doesn't contain some serious critique regarding what should be improved or done differently. Thus, giving it to a stranger is really the only way to get objective and unfiltered input.  Even then there are possible problems, as I eluded to in my last post.

Thing is, I have to put it out there, I have to see what it can do to readers. Will it draw them in and take them away? Will it engage them and spur them to read it through it's 200k+ length? Or does it need shortening and work on pace and progress? Do the characters need more life breathed into them?

To know, I have to start trusting... first, in my writing. I know for damn sure it doesn't outright suck.  Second,  in my ability to fix what may need fixing. For that, it needs to go out.

I read somewhere some advice from a writer to writers and it went something like this: "So you finished your first novel? Congratulations, that's quite an accomplishment. Now put it on the shelf in the basement and start writing your next one."  The implications are two-fold: that all first books are shit and that you need to be able to do it again.

If I believe that, then I'm more inclined to put S7 on Amazon than a dusty shelf. Why? Because if it truly is shit, then I'll finally know. No assumptions, no doubt. Going forward to novel two is much easier then, mostly because I won't try to continue the S7 story, I'll start with a fresh premise, plot, and characters. I knew S7 was a huge and complex story for a first novel, a real challenge. I won't be crushed if it isn't up to snuff, but I might be if I never find out.

Anyhoo... it's raining outside this writer's window and time to write.

Stepping Stones

The waters of resignation run cold.

I'm closer now to needing a genre-specific beta reader for S7. A dedicated, interested reader willing to say, "This part sucks" or "Why the hell does he do that?" or "Is this chick modeled after a Barbie doll or what?" if need be.

Do I really need that? Part of me says absolutely yes. Part of me says why? Why base your work's value in its current state by one person's feedback? Does every story work for every person? What if I get a crummy reader who takes sadistic pleasure from presenting as a helpful beta reader when in fact they slowly target and snipe my dreams along with my prose? Regardless of the script's actual worth? What if they take it and run with it, chop it down to 100k words, and find a publisher for it? (Wow, you may think, do you really think S7 is that good? That it's worth stealing? Hell, if I thought it wasn't, why would I still be working on it after all this time?)

I posted some early excerpts back in like 2008 on a message forum. I got about ten responses. They ranged from "Wow, I can see what's happening so clearly in my head. I want to read more!" to "You can't write for shit, pal. Take a grammar class."  Luckily, it was more positive feedback than negative. However, the point stands - not everything works for everyone. I hold this to be a universal truth.

Which leads me back to something I've read over and over. "Write what you'd like to read." The question then becomes, do I like System Seven?

Of course it's a loaded question and I mean loaded with two barrels, each pointing in the opposite direction.  On the one hand, I love the story. In revising it, time and time again I find myself falling into the scenes, soaking up the vibes, digging the progression and pace.  On the other hand, I've read the scenes dozens and dozens of times (if not more). Stare at one thing too long and even the most beautiful sight can become drab and lose its attraction. Yet, even with that, I still love this story. For me, that says I've written what I like to read.

I get the feeling I really need to stop rubbing the damn script's shiny buttons and put the thing out there. So what next? Traditional queries, likely. Which means the dreaded query letter. How do you summarize an epic story comprised of 228,000 words? I guess I'll find out. How I do at that may mean more for the script's chances at success than the script itself.

Time to cross to the next stepping stone and see if I stay out of the waters of resignation.

Persistence

"You can't fail if you don't give up."

Quite a while ago I gave a bunch of chapters to a co-worker who said she'd be interested in reading my work. The disclaimer I offered her was that she was in no way obligated to read it, to comment on it, etc. I truly did not expect her to read it, or to like it. Genre preference is what it is and I didn't know if she would take to it.

The other day she surprised by saying she'd finally had some time where she could begin reading. She read the first 167 pages in one sitting (almost three hours) and loved it.

I was very relieved and excited, to say the least. This was the first feedback from someone not in my immediate family or very close to me or who is an aspiring writer. It helped that she was in fact interested in the supernatural in general, and specifically with some of the premises in my novel. She really enjoyed it.

So... that feedback definitely was a boost. I'm still revising. I've managed to cut 10,000 words from the script since last month. I'm polishing, too, and liking the changes.

Persistence....