Down to the wire

Feels like it anyway. Technically I have about 5 weeks until Christmas, but I want S7 available by Christmas. Tall order? Perhaps, especially since I've been tweaking the story more, and not just weaving the last part towards its modified ending. This is slowing the process. I know, I know - tinkering it to death will also kill any deadline. But I'm going with my gut, wherever that leads.

Options

Feeling a bit more free with options in this revision process. I've been able to cut the word count down to 203k from the original 220k. It really is amazing how shortening and sharpening the story is improving it. These are the early lessons of an author, experienced now, not just read about. There is a path to travel.... quite interesting to actually be on it.

Coming up on 2 months remaining. That's 8 weeks. No time to waste if I'm to meet the deadline. I'm definitely working towards it.

Major Rewriting

Oh, it's tough. Premise changes create substantial ripple effects. That said, it's happening, the story is morphing to align with the new premises, with the changed plot. It's fresh writing and it feels good. The hard part is weaving properly - making sure continuity and  pace remain intact.

Onward, forward...

"Skill is the unified force of experience, intellect and passion in their operation." ~John Ruskin

Deadline: Christmas 2012

The revisions must be complete before Christmas Day. Simple as that. Time has been slipping away. The goal of publishing S7 has been, too. Slipping further and further out. Enough! The excuses are always there, but I'm tired of making them. Dreams don't make themselves come true. Books don't write themselves.

So the deadline is set. I hope the day rolls around and finds System Seven on Amazon and other sites. If not, I'll be damned disappointed in myself. Time to go choose my destiny...

And... slow going.

While I am still writing a little nearly every day, I feel somewhat bogged in the process - meaning it's going slowly. This revision is considered major in that two or three premises are changed. Riding out (and fleshing out) the resulting waves of changes is a real challenge.

I'm reminded of that saying by Patrick Dennis, "Writing isn't hard. It isn't any harder than digging ditches."

So true for me right now. But hey, I've got something to work on. I'm moving forward. That's what counts.

What It's Really Like

It's a Saturday morning in June in Northern California. A brief hot spell has generously given way to the gorgeous, low '70's blue sky I see outside my window. The lawn is drinking the water I set out after mowing it this morning. It's 9:20am.

Before me rests the 225,000 word manuscript that is System Seven. Pandora radio is streaming my ambient station. Haunting flutes, deep congo drums, and synthesizers paint tension and drama on the canvas of the family room where I write. A tall glass of iced water sits within reach. I'm settled, ready to be the writer.

In revision, which is where I'm at now with the script, every paragraph, every sentence is subject to the prodding and testing necessary to achieve a few things:  a.) plot accuracy, b.) story continuity, c.) relevancy, and d.) brevity.  Since I'm revising certain premises, the testing for A and B are all important, literally like heart surgery for the story. C and D are also important for the overall health of the script and to improve readability.

What revision feels like varies from moment to moment, hour to hour, etc. The tides of this human's emotions tend to rise and fall and my desire to finish this script is the boat and oars of the revision process. There are moments when I almost literally crash into the words of a sentence, like hitting a wall, and my resolve shatters, the imagery breaks apart, and I'm left staring at a field of pixels on an advanced Lite Brite screen. My inner self gets out of the chair and walks away. So I step back, take a breath, look at the paragraph, reposition myself in the story, re-ignite the fire of imagination, light the scene, and begin prodding and testing again. It is like digging a ditch.

Other times, revision is like an exciting hike through a jungle. My footing is sure. Concepts are clear. I see through the foliage and reach out to grasp rare gems of prose and place them safely in my backpack. Characters breathe, the sun filters through the canopy to warm the ground, and what happens next has me, the writer, leaning into the story in anticipation.  I scan a paragraph, sense each sentence as a whole, and see the order in which they ought to be. This one comes before that -- there, much better, the flow is now natural. Details are like playthings that feel good in my hands. The scenes are alive, the plot thickens or thins, tension is increased or released. Control is fluid.

The norm is somewhere in between, an average of the extremes. The old adage, "Keep Moving" tends to apply. You have to keep moving the dirt, you have to keep the flow of the story going. Find the blockages, clear them. Find the garbage, remove it. Find the excess, snip it. Add the desirable ingredients. Stir the stew. And all the while, believe. Know that others have learned the craft. Know that there is always more to learn. Know that others traveled the same kind of road. Know there are worthy destinations ahead. Keep moving.

At its best, writing is trance. At its worst, writing is torturous. Revision is the same, but with more effort, more rules to consider, and greater possibility to manage. There is one thing for certain - you have to want to finish it and finish it well. You have to really, really want it.

Bam! Back a few steps, mister...

So some really good, honest feedback came in from two beta-readers. Both rang with the same issues having to do with story scope and complexity. As a result, S7 is now back in the shop for rewriting with very specific and significant story modifications required. It will be interesting to see what the end product will be like and how long. At last revision the word count was 228k...!

The feelings I have right now are telling me what it's like to be an author. It's a mixed bag of optimism, panic, determination, and sheer dread. I keep repeating the adage, "The only difference between amateur writers and published authors is that published authors didn't quit".  If I don't quit, I'm headed for eventual success. That's inspiring.

I'm also reminding myself to keep the process fun. Writing, the act of creating a reality in which a reader can submit oneself to, should be fun even when it's hard work. Laying out an alternate reality that will exist "forever" in digital form and (hopefully) in the memories of a human reader... that's entertaining work.

So I am back in the writing phase, tweaking the world I will soon release to readers.

So very close...

The anticipation is tremendous, the anxiety gnawing.  I've got the ISBN, the cover art done, and have incorporated the feedback of a few good beta readers. I'm a few mouse clicks away from putting System Seven up on Amazon... awaiting only further feedback from betas.

In the meantime... I spent the afternoon throwing down ideas for book two. I like what I came up with. I also figure I'll probably be able to take one of the large story arcs I pulled from S7 and utilize it in the second round, which is really cool because I liked it and hated cutting it.

Anyhoo... back to work tomorrow, so now it's all about enjoying the rest of the day as much as possible.

All Pins and Needles

I've been browsing the blogdom of authors and have come across something refreshing.  What I've seen is a good deal of honesty and frankness about the challenges of writing.  Authors sharing what it feels like to doubt, to hit the wall, and to generally struggle with the processes involved.

Somehow it's encouraging to know I'm not alone, that not all writers are superhuman creative machines able to jam out a novel without a hint of doubt or effort. This is one of those oddities, though, where I've read time and again about authors not always feeling confident, yet they go on and do it anyway to reach their goals and, often, success. If I've already read about the phenomenon, why do I feel so alone with it?  Maybe it's just hard to believe.... Stephen King doubt his writing? Hard to imagine, yet he did.

Finding new authors like myself who face similar feelings makes it more realistically "normal". What it does is help ease some of the anxiety, and reminds me to keep moving forward. I will need to be brave when it comes to critical review. I'll need to look for the path to growth as a writer in whatever S7 receives.

To begin to receive that review, I need to put it out there. More than ever, I realize it's time to man up and actually put System Seven in production and see how it is received. Then play nine and adjust, etc. I'm all pins and needles as I approach the time for it.

All worry aside, there is an excitement that comes with the prospect of "launching" my first novel. Whether it or not it does "well", I know I put a lot of care and effort into the script and that at least some will see that and appreciate what it offers. To think of someone enjoying what I created is a thrill unto itself!

Not Alone

The best advice on writing I ever received was: Invent your confidence. When you're trying something new, insecurity and stage fright come with the territory. Many wonderful writers (and other artists) have been plagued by insecurity throughout their professional lives. How could it be otherwise? By its nature, art involves risk. It's not easy, but sometimes one has to invent one's confidence.

DIANE ACKERMAN

So I'm not alone in my insecurities. Glad to hear it.  It makes the feeling a bit easier to take and understand. But wow, what a roller coaster....

I've been getting feedback from friends who are reading S7. Definitely input to work with, and I'm grateful.  Two primary areas of concern have arisen.

One, some of the technical jargon. I originally began writing S7 with a very niche audience in mind - technical peeps, geeks, etc. Later I revised my goal and went back and 'simplified' a bit. Apparently not enough. So I'm going to revisit that effort once more.

Two, areas of verbosity where it dips too much into philosophy. This speaks to pace and progress, and I imagine some to respecting the reader's ability to draw their own conclusions and meaning. This requires simplification and reduction of the text, so that is my other effort at this point.

The other feedback is strongly favorable of the readability, the overall pace, and the story line itself. One reader, whose genre preference is most directly aligned with S7, is really liking it and that feedback is especially encouraging. Another whose genre preference is not aligned said despite the fact, he found himself drawn into the story. This bodes well, I believe. Time and exposure will tell.

So I'm closing in on what I believe are the final revisions of this, my first completed novel. I'm partly nervous, partly excited. It's been said that writing is hell, and it's not just the writing process that's tough!

Trust and Other Things

What's hard about putting your draft three manuscript out in the hands of strangers for critique and review?

Ask a mother how hard it was to leave their child with a childcare provider or drop them off for the first day of school, cut that feeling in half, and you have about hard it is for a new author to drop his baby off in the hands of a stranger.

Why a stranger? Because friends and family have built-in filters to reviewing and critiquing your work. They might give you grammar and spelling corrections, but much else is subject to familiarity filtration. They know it's your dream to write well and be published. They know you've spent (up to) years working on your baby. They want you to have a chance at your dreams but they also don't want to have to step on them, either.

For me, just knowing this makes their feedback hard to believe if it doesn't contain some serious critique regarding what should be improved or done differently. Thus, giving it to a stranger is really the only way to get objective and unfiltered input.  Even then there are possible problems, as I eluded to in my last post.

Thing is, I have to put it out there, I have to see what it can do to readers. Will it draw them in and take them away? Will it engage them and spur them to read it through it's 200k+ length? Or does it need shortening and work on pace and progress? Do the characters need more life breathed into them?

To know, I have to start trusting... first, in my writing. I know for damn sure it doesn't outright suck.  Second,  in my ability to fix what may need fixing. For that, it needs to go out.

I read somewhere some advice from a writer to writers and it went something like this: "So you finished your first novel? Congratulations, that's quite an accomplishment. Now put it on the shelf in the basement and start writing your next one."  The implications are two-fold: that all first books are shit and that you need to be able to do it again.

If I believe that, then I'm more inclined to put S7 on Amazon than a dusty shelf. Why? Because if it truly is shit, then I'll finally know. No assumptions, no doubt. Going forward to novel two is much easier then, mostly because I won't try to continue the S7 story, I'll start with a fresh premise, plot, and characters. I knew S7 was a huge and complex story for a first novel, a real challenge. I won't be crushed if it isn't up to snuff, but I might be if I never find out.

Anyhoo... it's raining outside this writer's window and time to write.

Stepping Stones

The waters of resignation run cold.

I'm closer now to needing a genre-specific beta reader for S7. A dedicated, interested reader willing to say, "This part sucks" or "Why the hell does he do that?" or "Is this chick modeled after a Barbie doll or what?" if need be.

Do I really need that? Part of me says absolutely yes. Part of me says why? Why base your work's value in its current state by one person's feedback? Does every story work for every person? What if I get a crummy reader who takes sadistic pleasure from presenting as a helpful beta reader when in fact they slowly target and snipe my dreams along with my prose? Regardless of the script's actual worth? What if they take it and run with it, chop it down to 100k words, and find a publisher for it? (Wow, you may think, do you really think S7 is that good? That it's worth stealing? Hell, if I thought it wasn't, why would I still be working on it after all this time?)

I posted some early excerpts back in like 2008 on a message forum. I got about ten responses. They ranged from "Wow, I can see what's happening so clearly in my head. I want to read more!" to "You can't write for shit, pal. Take a grammar class."  Luckily, it was more positive feedback than negative. However, the point stands - not everything works for everyone. I hold this to be a universal truth.

Which leads me back to something I've read over and over. "Write what you'd like to read." The question then becomes, do I like System Seven?

Of course it's a loaded question and I mean loaded with two barrels, each pointing in the opposite direction.  On the one hand, I love the story. In revising it, time and time again I find myself falling into the scenes, soaking up the vibes, digging the progression and pace.  On the other hand, I've read the scenes dozens and dozens of times (if not more). Stare at one thing too long and even the most beautiful sight can become drab and lose its attraction. Yet, even with that, I still love this story. For me, that says I've written what I like to read.

I get the feeling I really need to stop rubbing the damn script's shiny buttons and put the thing out there. So what next? Traditional queries, likely. Which means the dreaded query letter. How do you summarize an epic story comprised of 228,000 words? I guess I'll find out. How I do at that may mean more for the script's chances at success than the script itself.

Time to cross to the next stepping stone and see if I stay out of the waters of resignation.

Persistence

"You can't fail if you don't give up."

Quite a while ago I gave a bunch of chapters to a co-worker who said she'd be interested in reading my work. The disclaimer I offered her was that she was in no way obligated to read it, to comment on it, etc. I truly did not expect her to read it, or to like it. Genre preference is what it is and I didn't know if she would take to it.

The other day she surprised by saying she'd finally had some time where she could begin reading. She read the first 167 pages in one sitting (almost three hours) and loved it.

I was very relieved and excited, to say the least. This was the first feedback from someone not in my immediate family or very close to me or who is an aspiring writer. It helped that she was in fact interested in the supernatural in general, and specifically with some of the premises in my novel. She really enjoyed it.

So... that feedback definitely was a boost. I'm still revising. I've managed to cut 10,000 words from the script since last month. I'm polishing, too, and liking the changes.

Persistence....

Really??

I wasn't ready for the most recent round of self doubt about my first novel, S7. Came down from the mountain like a avalanche. What did I do? What graceful and wise mental construct did I utilize to manage it? Ha. I retreated, is what I did. Came up with a plan to take the best characters, premises, and scenes from the story and use them in a fresh beginning, a new story altogether. Oh yeah, and I decided I was going to outline it all before starting to write.

See, I didn't outline S7. I had a bunch of cool premises in mind and an opening scene. That's it. The rest came to me via the muse method, tapping or being tapped by the creative flow found only in the universe (not in one's gel-filled pea brain). It made writing S7 as exciting as the subsequent reading of it has been. But damn it, I can't walk away from the characters, the progression, the story, as it is. I just can't. It's too evolved, too done. Tonight I know that and while I reserve the right to enact Plan B, I'm sticking to Plan A and riding it out.

So agents and publishers, beware: System Seven will be queried, in all it's complexity and lengthy glory.

To celebrate my continued contraction and expansion as a writer, I present an excerpt:

   "You’ll show me how this is done?" he asked Pons.

   "I'm going to try. You must make the proper leaps." Pons blinked several times before continuing. "Now, there’s a benefit to being right next to someone you want to drag into a dream. It takes most of the work out of it, provided you know what you’re doing. Distance is a factor for most. For me it is." A butterfly flew in the window, fluttered in a circle, and left through the doorway. "You extend right into their meta flow, quietly. Do a little number with the local loop, at the brain stem. Some call it ‘planting the tree’ or ‘setting base camp’. Then you follow their flow into Saoghal." 

   The window panes seemed more orange than yellow.  The angle of the sun? 

    "Once there, you spawn a dream via their meta, one that perfectly matches the grid around them. You do this by using fresh physical data from the meta stream in the local loop. The eyes, the ears... every sense flows in the meta, giving you the ingredients to create the stage. You can imagine the dexterity this involves, yes? It takes practice, lots of practice. You must be careful, so they don’t detect it, aren’t distracted by the act of constructing it." 

   The drapes began to sag, lengthening on the rods. 

   "And then once built, once synchronized, you will have slipped your dream over the top of their reality. A joining. A merging." He paused, eyeing Johan. "You’re doing quite well in your realization that you’re now dreaming lucidly. At this point, most people are very emotional, feeling disconnected from their body, scared to death of me, or thinking they’ve lost their mind. But not you. I should probably thank you for your restraint, because I imagine you are holding back." 

   "I am." Glued to the druid’s every word, he resisted trying to take control and focused instead on what he’d just sensed. Just like that, they were dreaming the druid’s dream. "How is this possible?"

   "We daydream." Together. Pons' voice resonated in the center of his mind. 

   "You’re not holding me in this, are you?" 

   I was, but you feel it now, of course. You could break it if you wanted but please don’t, not yet. I’ve wonderful teaching tools here. Get comfortable now, and relax. Trust me. 

   Pons proceeded to describe the technique to initiate dream control, coupling his words with concepts born from thought.  Extending one’s meta into someone else’s was the most difficult concept to absorb. The druid tried to explain. 

   "It’s like a mini-dream unto itself, Johan. You have to form it and trust its validity, trust your sense and the intended outcome. At night you reach up in the darkness for light knob that you know is there but cannot see.  Same with extending your meta. It is there, and you can reach it. All humans have meta. Essentially, they are meta. When you recognize your experience of it, when you trust your awareness of it, it responds – you respond – and validation occurs. The bloom of understanding and information. It is exactly what the Comannda do not want people to do, an ability they have worked so hard to suppress with culture and fear. With practice, you will recognize it and eventually flow with it into other people, other places. Truth will become plain to you." 

   "Other places? No limits?" 

   The world seemed to contract a little. "That is... complicated. We’ll return to it later. Until we do, please do not extend further than where you can see. Do not." 

   "Ongelofelijk." Unbelievable.

And onward I march...

Flip.. flop!! Owch...

Oh man, re-reading my earlier post about flip flopping... yeah, it's true, up and down a writer goes, but really, all the creative visualization in the world doesn't guarantee relief when the flop hits. It can help with climbing out of the whole in the sand your confidence made when it hit ground, but there's not a lot you can do to prevent the flop. That said, getting up and getting moving again is really, really important to success (in anything). Find a way.

So I'm looking at my completed novel (that is still in revision) and realizing I've got a lot of cutting to do. 237k words is a big book. 150k is the typical top end for SciFi/Fantasy, according to a few sources I've read. 90,000 extra words is a big chunk of writing (um, it's another book's worth). Then again, I've read that a story needs what it needs to be told. My question is, because I'm a new writer, am I making mistakes that bloat the novel unnecessarily? And will I need to drastically cut it for to be considered by agents?

So many questions about this novel. Should it be cut in two? Should it be put aside in favor of starting a novel with a smaller scale? Is it ready for beta readers as is? It's epic... a lot happens.. is it too complex? Oh the questions...

... and yet, when I read it, I fall into it again. I find myself reading it. I've been told my writing is clear and readable. I've been told it has good pace and keeping track of all that's going on is not difficult. All I can do is keep making it into something I want to read, something to my standard, and then see what querying agents turns up.

This came across my FB page today and I had to grab it... it spoke to me.

Oh, the distractions

Endless distractions..... 4 new tweets.... 6 new stories.... emails telling you someone re-pinned something you posted or commented on your post... it's all there, a mouse-click away from your manuscript. And that's just distractions born of the computer. Good lord! How does anyone get anything written?

Then there's "writing related" distractions..... I really need to stop reading about writing and publishing, etc., and stick to actual writing. Work that effing manuscript!!

On Success

The Flip Flop (continued)

One day your writing's great, the next it's crap. Same words on the page both days...

How to manage this drunken, unpredictable flop flop syndrome?

(Let me say up front that I didn't select the topic at random. I've been experiencing it on and off for years, quite intensely at times [most recently yesterday].  So what I'm about to write is as much perspective as it is therapy for myself.)

Everybody has the "just learning to walk stage" in which first efforts are just plain clumsy in a literary sense. I still have my very first versions of S7 and let me tell you, reading them is painful, well and truly so. Being able to compare that early work to my current work creates its own affirmation - but I have to give myself that. I have to be ready to accept the positive progression the comparison indicates. When I do, I help realistically define myself as a writer. The proof is in the progress. Hope is a river that runs in that.

The trick is to be mindful to update that comparison continually, to reinforce progress as it happens.

When I'm entertaining positive thoughts, I realize that I've worked this thing called writing... I left the comfort of base camp and started climbing this mountain that shoots into the sky and touches my dreams. When I look down, it's to where I started and sometimes I feel really good about the height I've achieved. I'm excited about the climb ahead, about my ability to keep climbing.

When I'm careless and moody... well, it's the opposite. Then I'm about ten feet above base camp, stuck in the rocks with no handhold above me. I'm the Beginner, the Unpublished, the Untalented, and worse, the Silly Dreamer... given to chasing results that only the Select Few ever achieve. Why bother? Woe is me!

The fact is, I'm learning to write. Like any learning process, enthusiasm will wane at times, doubt will nibble at the edges of intention (or even take chomps), and tunnel vision will take over. Part of successfully learning (and thus growing) is the act of enduring all that surrounds the process, and not letting your goals slip from your hands. Hold them, believe in them, and you will carry them through all that is necessary to arrive at the next waypoint, the next resting point on the mountain.

To become a writer is to accept the idea of expansion and contraction during the journey. It is to make mistakes and be willing to learn from them. It is to understand that the rise and fall of enthusiasm need not be tied to hope or your measure of your progress. You are becoming a writer. You are becoming more passionate about the craft. You are becoming experienced.

What your efforts lead to is in the story of your climb, the story of what happens on the mountain. Are you there? Braving the elements with hands in the crevices and feet stuffed in the cracks? Don't be afraid to look down... and don't be afraid to climb higher. I hear the view from your dreams is spectacular.

The Flip Flop

I've heard it said and believe (know) it's true....

On any given day, a writer might think their work is excellent, well crafted. They are pleased and proud. The next day, they might very well think it's just crap. The really crappy kind.

I've come to the practiced conclusion that this flip flop in self-appraisal of one's writing is, in fact, normal.  It is the arc and dip of confidence, the breathing of the ego as it ponders the quality of the work. Too often, the act of comparison with other writer's work (typically published, polished work) serves as the trigger for the exaggerated exhale.

Such deep dives into despair and brutal criticism of one's own prose is a thrashing and painful experience. It strikes to the very core and rips the pen from the hand of the writer's soul. Anxiety sears the dreams from our hearts and dashes them on the rocks of "reality".

The trouble is, the reality may be very different from what we think it is. And you guessed it - this cuts both ways, for the inhale and the exhale. Glowing from re-reading a chapter you are proud still feels great even if fact there are problems within it hiding right under your nose. Conversely, your prose may feel dismal, devoid of emotion, and lacking originality when in fact it is none of that and really just you that is projecting your state of mind on your unsuspecting and otherwise solid work.

How to manage this drunken, unpredictable flop flop syndrome?

I'm at work, ending my lunch, so I'll have to ponder that later tonight and share more then. ;)

Oh, and happy Thursday...!

The Morning After

Did I really start this blog? Looks like. First thing I thought this morning was, "Will it become an alter to the Idle?" Like S7 almost did? Like my Tumblr account has?


Yes, I did start it. And no, it shalt not become an alter to the Idle. Not as long as I have a dream. So good morning to it (the blog, the dream) and to my inner muse. Let the rambling writing begin.

Muse, noun, [myooz],  3. the goddess or the power regarded as inspiring a poet, artist, thinker, or the like

Beginning in the Middle

So in 2003 I started to write a book, System Seven. A fiction novel. Sci-fi. No outline, no real specific plot in mind. I wrote the prologue in about two hours and liked the feel... of the scene and of the process of writing. I knew I had in me a lot of cool ideas that could serve as unique premises for a cool story. I figured if I liked it, others might, too. So voila! I was on my way!

Ummm, yeah.

Four years later, 40,000 words into it, I realized I wasn't taking the idea of becoming a writer very seriously... but knew I wanted to. I liked the story. I still had stuff that wanted to come out and I knew it could in the world I'd begun creating. My response was to pick up a book on fiction writing and get serious.

It worked, mostly. Over the next two years I picked up and studied about five more books on writing while doubling my word count by 2009. I was getting excited. I even went back over the original work and revised it with all the new found knowledge I had. Actually, I did that every time I finished reading one of the how-to books. Did it help? Absolutely. Each revision chipped away at the problems I hadn't known I had. All the while, I was keeping in touch with a brimming writer's community on the forums at AbsoluteWrite.com. I submitted three chapters in the peer review forum for the genre... and received great critiques that further helped me to learn the craft.

Fast forward another year and I found myself writing regularly. In 2010, the muse (or muses) visited me almost daily. I followed where they led. The story unfolded, even grew wings. The word count had soared (and I do mean soared). Things had happened in the world of System Seven. A lot of things! Alas, things had also happened in my world... including an end of a long marriage. Writing became an anchor for me then, one that tied me over the intense currents of change that ensued.

Finally, after a long and arduous battle between revisioning and trying to actually get to the ending of the story, I did reach the end. It was Christmas morning 2010 at 2:30am or so. The word count was over 220,000 words, but the story had been told. What a tremendous feeling!!! But inside, I knew there was still much to fix...

The year 2011 brought more revisions... of the novel and my personal life (luckily, both were positive). Draft two took most of the year as a result. Draft three began in the last weeks of December and continues today.

This is a big book. Not as big as most every of Robert Jordan's books in the Wheel of Time series, but it's big. The story spans some 675 pages and 73 chapters and is segmented into three parts (I. Shift, II. Change, and III. Control). I've revised through chapter 26 (part 1) and have that out to four readers and am incorporating the resulting feedback. I'm pushing to revise part 2 now. (A final re-doing of the chapters is still ahead - with some consolidation involved I'm sure).

That's where this blog starts, in the middle. Or, almost in the middle... I'm at the part where I need to find out if the story sucks or not. I need to know what others think of it. If it passes muster, I'll go on and try get an agent and see where things go. If it doesn't pass muster, if it's truly diseased with first-novelitis, then I'll shelve it and begin a fresh project and put all my knowledge and experience to work on something better.

What exactly am I going to blog about? Honestly, I won't really know until my inner-muse decides to post. I can say I'd like to be helpful to other writers, to share inspiration and provide motivation as well as provide truly useful stuff. And I can say I'll likely use the blog as an anchor for my efforts and as a therapy couch. We'll see.